We’re born to be in relationship. As kids, we must attach to the adults around us to survive. Maybe you needed to be on-guard around the adults around you. Maybe the adults around you were scary. Avoiding them was smart. Be a small target, Don’t be vulnerable. Maybe you had to worry over the grown-up around you to make sure they could be there for you as best they could. Whatever you had to do, you survived. You’re here reading these words. That’s a win. You did it. You survived. I’m so glad.
The friction though, the rub if you will, comes when doing what you had to do to survive cuts you off from what you need for your current relationships to thrive.
Your attachment system needs an update in adulthood. It’s time to trade hyper-vigilance for trust. It’s time to trade worry for calm. It’s time to trade avoidance for openness. Upgrade your attachment system and get the relationships you want.
