After a year or so of writing #therapynotes, people mention this one to me more than any other.
Some people are allergic to responsibility.
So this is a sequel of sorts. I know all about people who are allergic to responsibility because I was one. I spent most of my 20s living in victimhood. Every bad thing that happened in my life was someone else’s fault or so I thought. No wonder I felt so terrible.
The lesson of my first therapy was MY choices led to the misery I was feeling in MY life. Personal responsibility and learning to take it session by session were my allergy shots.
Those early shots were painful and invaluable. When we stay perpetual victims in our own lives we choose to be powerless to change. However, when we are responsible it means that we can make new choices. We have the power to effect the outcomes in our lives. We can feel better. We can be better.
If you’re miserable being a perpetual victim it does not have to stay this way. There’s your work.