Are you motivated most by avoidance or desire?
Avoidant leaning folks like me tend to be able to see the worst case scenario easily in any situation. When we avoidants go too far we venture into paranoia. “Nothing is going to work.” “Everyone’s out to get me.” “Everything I do is wrong.” There’s no quicker way to be wrong than to think a version of “All ____ are ____.” When avoidants venture into paranoid town our chances at relief plummet and our chances at happiness dwindle to zero.
The desirous among us know what they want and they go for it. At least that’s my understanding. Gone too far the desirous don’t get paranoid they get obsessive. In the extreme there’s seemingly nothing else in the world save for the object of the obsessive’s desire. “To hell with the consequences, I’m getting, doing, thinking about, pursing ‘the thing’.”
Like with any dialectic both avoiding pain and pursuing pleasure are important motivations. The trick is to have both desire for what you want and protection for yourself. BOTH/AND.