We can’t unring a bell and we can’t unhear the damn thing.
In the heat of the moment be careful. When fighting with our partner(s) the only things that run as high as our emotions are our mouths. Hit the brake. Sloooowwww waaaayyy down.
Sometimes we think we want to know all the details. Sometimes we think we want to know exactly what they were thinking. Sometimes we think if we just got more information then it wouldn’t feel so awful. The hell of it is that sometimes the details make it worse.
When you’re hurt, confused, betrayed, angry, STOP. Soothe yourself. Set up some boundaries. Get some space. Then really think about what you need to know and why. Then, proceed with caution.
If you need help having these conversations I can help.