Would You Talk To Him the Way You Talk to Yourself?

Nope. You wouldn’t. And I know for sure that I don’t, anymore.

Let’s back up a step. You’re talking to yourself all the time. We all are. Do you know what you’re saying? Tune in. Just notice. Notice what you’re telling yourself. Notice how you’re saying it. The tone you use is as important as what you’re thinking, maybe more.

In relationships one of the things that makes or breaks them is the atmosphere around it and within it. Is the experience of your relationship generally positive and warm like a safe haven from the outside world or does it feel negative and tense like walking on eggshells? A safe haven is good. Walking on eggshells is bad. What’s the atmosphere in your relationship with yourself?

If your self-talk is negative and the atmosphere in your head is like walking on eggshells then let’s turn that around. Imagine yourself as a little kid. I did. Yes, that’s me in this picture. Would you say the things you’re saying to yourself about yourself to 8 year-old you? Nope.

Your first job in adult life is to take care of yourself. In the airplane we always hear “put the mask on yourself before me you assist others.” Your life is your airplane. Self-care is putting the mask on yourself. Good self-talk and keep the atmosphere in your head positive are vital to self-care. If you’re not good at this, there’s your work.