Let’s All Think About Our Intentions

Sexual narrative (3 of 3) – It’s humbling and wonderful to be learning so much in my sex therapy training program at Michigan. It’s great to learn frameworks and models that I can use to help clients. This framework of sexual identity is a prime example.

I look at all this material as an experienced therapist and novice sex therapist of course. I also can help but realize what an ignorant person I’ve been trying to navigate, understand and tell my own sexual narrative. I’m learning something new every week that not only applies to my clinical practice but to my life as a sexual person and citizen of my relationships.

This week’s eye opener has been intention as a full and equal part of our sexual identity along with gender identity and orientation. The latter two have been well discussed and will continue to be in my sexual health certificate program, my work with the Human Rights Campaign, and in my relationships. Intention however is something that in hindsight I’ve always been aware of in a vague sort of way but now it’s sharp.

What is my intention in my solo sex life? How about in my partner sex life? Are they the same? Different? What does that tell me about me and my motivations? Am I using sex for something like self soothing or emotional regulation when other skills might be more effective or more appropriate?

Let’s all become more aware of our intention when it comes to sex. I’ll bet we’ll be surprised what we learn.